We were never meant to be, Baby we just happened.

I’m falling apart in your hands again. I know I should have expected it. But I don’t know if you can ever really be ready for your future to blow up in your face. That’s what happens when you break up. Your future, a neatly mapped out path full of plans, vacations, holidays, memories waiting to be made, just turns into a blackhole. Boom.

I am not quite sure where my boyfriend went. I was thinking about putting up “Wanted” signs, but I didn’t know what to offer for a reward because I wasn’t really sure I wanted him back. Certainly not in the condition he ran away from me in.

Do guys keep their dark sides from us on purpose? Do they try to hide it and put on their best behavior until they get you hooked then they can slowly start being the real them? Or maybe it’s me…maybe I am blinded by beginnings. Maybe I am just still that 16 year old girl who wants to save the world, one boy at a time.

Either way, he abandoned me. My best friend is gone. That was the best part about him…I actually liked him. I liked being with him, I liked confiding in him, I liked giggling with him. It was the only person on this planet that I have ever enjoyed that much. It’s something a girl can get used to ya know?

It kills me to know that I was fine before him. I was so happy being alone, I did not want a relationship, and I was doing things to better myself. But then I met a boy, who made me happier when I was with him then when I wasn’t. And that boy talked to me about our future together and I felt something funny start. I liked it.

I don’t know what happened. I just know it is gone.

You know when you wake up from a nightmare, and you're sweating and breathing heavy and terrified that it's real?  That moment when you realize it was all just a nightmare and your body relaxes, your heartbeat calms, and you can take a deep breath.  That moment is so sweet.  I feel exactly the opposite.   I feel like this relationship, this entire person, was all just a dream.  It ended so abruptly, so out of nowhere, that's the only explanation for it.  I feel like I am waking from a dream to a nightmare.  I wake up in the morning and then I remeber, and I gasp for air and I cry.  That's no way to wake up every morning.  But the realization stings every time.  All I want to do is go back to sleep. 

Baby this is tragic.  Cause we had it.  We was Magic.